Mommy Means Business

NPR (yes, I confess, I’m a public radio geek) had a great story on Morning Edition today about kids and swearing. And we’re not talking about the toddler who’s really trying to say “truck.” We’re talking about kids repeating the phrases they hear their parents, babysitters, and Sponge Bob using.

That’s right. Words like “butt,” “stupid,” and “loser” are considered mild curse words, and Sponge Bob rifles them off multiple times in a half-hour program. 

So, as a self-proclaimed “word nerd,” the NPR program got me wondering: is there some kind of official government agency, some guy in a suit getting paid thousands of taxpayer dollars, to determine which words are swear words?  

I mean, words are words, right? And swear words change from generation to generation. “Shoot” and “shucks” used to be considered vulgar. In the early 1900s, you weren’t supposed to say “Gee” or “Jeepers.” For crying out loud you couldn’t even say “for crying out loud!” — it was a euphemism for Christ. And cover the kids’ ears for this one: “Jiminy cricket” was a no-no in the 1800s. 

According to James O’Connor, the author of the book and the site, Cuss Control, it’s not so much the words as it is the attitude with which they are used. “You will be perceived as more mature, intelligent, articulate, polite, considerate and pleasant if you control your language and the emotions that typically prompt expletives,” he says. “You can choose to have character and class, or be considered rude, crude and crass.”

On the other hand: “There isn’t any other language that does what curse words do — expressing surprise, joy, anger, frustration, at its deepest level,” saysTimothy Jay, a professor of psychology at North Adams State College in Massachusetts and author of four books on obscenity, including “Cursing in America.” 

I went through a swearing phase when I was in the sixth grade, trying to bridge the gap between elementary school and junior high, during which the f-bomb dropped pretty regularly from my lips. It made me feel strong, powerful, grown up, anti-establishment. And I outgrew it by the time I was in high school. Most kids do.  

Bottom line from my perspective? If your kid is using foul language along with a pattern of aggressive behavior, maybe you’ve got a problem. But in most cases, it’s just a way for them to “salt their language.” 

And frankly, I have to agree just a little bit with Professor Jay. As mature, intelligent, and articulate as it is to say, “Please leave me alone right now,” it certainly doesn’t pack the emotional punch of “F-off.”

Not that you’ll ever catch MY kids saying that.